15 August 2009

Steve Carr, Cigarette Tree (from the series Smoke and Mirrors)2007.
35mm transferred to DVD, Duration 3 mins 51 secs

"Queer Contracts Made With Actors"

Lucy McKenzie No Smoking
  1. Any person employed in this company acting improperly, talking loudly, or using language calculated to produce a quarrel, shall forfeit $5 and be liable to discharge, at the option of the manager.
  2. After the proper notice on call boards, all rehearsals must be attended. For absence from each scene or piece of music, 50 cents forfeit; whole rehearsals, $5 forfeit.
  3. Any person appearing intoxicated on the street, in the hotels, barrooms, or on the stage at rehearsal or performance, or who may be unable to appear for the same reason, shall forfeit a week's salary and be liable to an immediate discharge, at the option of the manager.
  4. A person introducing profane language or improper jest, not in the author, shall forfeit $1. A person restoring what is cut out by the manager will forfeit $1.
  5. Any member absenting himself or herself from the theatre of an evening when concerned in the business of the theatre will forfeit a week's salary and be liable to discharge by the manager.
  6. Members prevented from attending to their duties by indisposition are requested to send notice to the manager a sufficient time before performance to make the necessary arrangements. Pleas of indisposition must in all cases be accompanied by a certificate of a respectable physician. In case of illness the manager reserves the right to withhold or pay salaries.
  7. For making the stage wait, or talking behind the scenes or in the entrances, $2 forfeit.
  8. No person permitted, on any account, to address the audience without the consent of the manager. Any one violating this rule will forfeit a week's salary, and be liable to discharge, at the option of the manager.
  9. No one in any capacity allowed to introduce or have friends, relatives, or strangers behind the scenes, or in any of the dressing rooms, either before, during or after a performance or rehearsal, without the consent of the manager, in writing.
  10. Any person engaged in this company who shall render services in any other theatre, or any concert or public exhibition, without the consent of the management, will forfeit a week's salary and be liable to immediate discharge, at the option of the manager.
  11. Artists will not be allowed to go into the audience part of the theatre on the same evening on which they are to appear or have appeared on the stage, without the consent of the manager. for a violation of this rule they shall forfeit $5.
  12. Any person who shall be guilty of conduct unbecoming ladies and gentlemen, and calculated to bring disrepute upon this organization–either in or out of the theatre, at the hotels, or upon the railway trains; or who shall conspire against the interest of the manager, defame any member of the company, make public the private affairs of the concern, or by other conduct manifest a disposition to throw obstacles in the way of the management, will forfeit his engagement immediately.
  13. No intoxication beverages allowed in the dressing rooms, the stage doorkeeper having strct and imperative orders regarding this rule. Any one breaking this rule will forfeit five dollars.
  14. Loud talking or boisterous laughter in the dressing rooms can be distinctly heard in the auditorium and is therefore forbidden. Any one violating this rule will forfeit two dollars.
  15. Employees must be on trains stated on callboard notice. Any one failing to do so will forfeit five dollars and also pay his own railroad fare.
  16. Any one disobeying the stage manage, or showing any disrespect toward him, will forfeit five dollars and be liable to discharge, at the option of the manager.
  17. All sums forfeited as herein stated shall be deducted from the salary of the week during which the forfeiture occurred.
  18. Employees must not leave the theatre without permission; they must remember that their services belong to their manager from the rise to the fall of the curtain.
  19. Employees will not be allowed to carry more baggage or articles of wardrobe than is positively necessary for their business, neither shall they increase the quantity during the tour, unless for use upon the stage. Employees who shall be found to carry any superfluous articles of wardrobe or properties, &c, will be charged extra.
  20. Artists shall be ready to appear fully one act before their own, and must immediately respond to encores at the stage manager's request or signal.
  21. No artist will be allowed to dictate to the manager what his or her place on the programme or house bill shall be; the manager may alter the same at his discretion, and any artist creating unpleasantness by expressing dissatisfaction respecting the same, either to the manager or his representative, or to the other members of the company, will forfeit five dollars.
  22. Employees are expected to take tickets at theatre if required by management.
  23. Salary day will be every Wednesday evening after the performance. Positively no money advanced, as it puts the management to considerable trouble keeping books, and creates arguments on salary day.
  24. Any new rule which may be found necessary shall be considered as part of these Rules and Regulations.
– From The New York Times; published February 22, 1903.

12 August 2009

Dutch Courage

Sergeant Alan Clayton said: “This simple piece of equipment will have a big impact on drug use in pubs and clubs.

"It looks like a normal LED torch but if it is pointed at the person’s nose and mouth area it shows up bright green if they have been taking the drug.

“It is even easy to see the minute cocaine crystals secreted within the nasal hair.”

“Small traces of cocaine are also left on the cheeks and chin that are not visible to the naked eye and these show up bright green too. It really is amazing.”

He added: “When people have been drinking it gives them dutch courage.

“When they have taken cocaine it can give them an almost super strength and the two in combination can lead to violent outbursts.

“This torch could reduce trouble in future and it could also cut down on people going into venues and selling drugs.”

– Lancashire Telegraph, March 31st, 2009.

4 August 2009

Success Boulevard

Photo - Max Bacharach

At a Christmas party at a rich painter's studio I had a disagreement with a gallerist about what artists are looking for. Our claims both perfect clich├ęs: I bellowed "freedom" and he growled "eternity".

There was nothing at stake, though.
That's why he claimed this city is the new Berlin, the Berlin of 15 years ago; all these divided factions can still come to a Christmas party and there are no fights.

This is now impossible in Berlin.

3 August 2009


Here's to US!!!!

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,



To Those of Us Born

1930 - 1979


1930's, 40's, 50's,

60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered

with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,

we had baseball caps

not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing....that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps

and then ride them down the hill,

only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's,

no surround-sound or CD's,

no cell phones,

no personal computers,

no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.

We ate worms and mud pies

made from dirt, and

the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.

Those who didn't had to learn

to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best

risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?


love you guys!