I'M NOT GOING TO CALL HIM A LIAR BEHIND HIS BACK BUT I WOULD SAY IT TO HIS FACE IF HE WAS HERE
16 February 2015
The Ring of Gyges
"Two weeks later, the first week in October, and I am sitting in a
copter. Five hours ago I was in Montreal, changing flights. Now, since I
only had a fifteen minute transfer in Montreal and barely made my
plane, I am torturing myself about whether my luggage was transferred.
We will land in Hebron, Labrador. I have discovered that Labrador is
part of the province of Newfoundland. I have already heard my first
Newfie joke. In Hebron they still have the old-fashioned manhole covers
that can be pried up with a crowbar, big round metal things. A Newfie is
jumping up and down on the manhole cover saying, "Sixty-seven!
Sixty-seven!" every time he jumps. A man visiting on business stops to
stare and the Newfie beckons him over, explains that what he is doing is
a way of relieving stress. (This is told with a Newfie accent, every
sentence ends with, 'ay?') He tells the business man to try. The
business man is not sure that he wants to, but slowly he is convinced to
step on the manhole cover. He jumps into the air and says
"Sixty-seven."The Newfie says that he's got to put more into it
(ay,) really shout it out. So the business man jumps and shouts
"Sixty-seven!" He finds it is kind of fun, so he jumps higher, shouting
"Sixty-seven!" louder and louder, until he's red in the face and his
long coat tails are flying. He jumps really high, shouts "Sixty-seven!"
and the Newfie whisks the manhole cover off and the business man
disappears into the manhole. Then the Newfie puts the cover back on and
starts jumping up and down shouting, "Sixty-eight!"
I wonder what Baffies do to American Born Chinese."
-- Maureen F. McHugh, China Mountain Zhang